By DonChuy

 

Before Defender2516 starts ripping tendons and ligaments with his typical knee-jerk reaction to my letters, he should realize that in my speaking engagements, I have found in audience questions an alarming increase in concern about what I call malign unregenerate-types. It is worth noting at the outset that he would sooner get a lobotomy than arraign him at the tribunal of public opinion. If you find that fact distressing then you should help me foster mutual understanding. Either that, or you can crawl into a corner and lament that you got yourself born in the wrong universe. Don't expect your sobbing to do much good, however, because I don't believe that those who disagree with Defender2516 should be cast into the outer darkness, should be shunned, should starve. So when he says that that's what I believe, I see how little he understands my position. For all of the foregoing reasons, I can confidently claim that he wants us to believe that we can solve all of our problems by giving him lots of money. We might as well toss that money down a well, because we'll never see it again. What we will see, however, is that the first thing we need to do is to get Defender2516 to admit that he has a problem. He should be counseled to recite the following:

* I, Defender2516, am a bleeding-heart layabout.
* I have been a participant in a giant scheme to squeeze every last drop of blood from our overworked, overtaxed bodies.
* I hereby admit my addiction to factionalism. I ask for the strength and wisdom to fight this addiction.

Once Defender2516 realizes that he has a problem, maybe then he'll see that if a cogent, logical argument entered his brain, no doubt a concussion would result. Take it from me: If Defender2516 would abandon his name-calling and false dichotomies it would be much easier for me to take advantage of a rare opportunity to pave the way for people of every sex, race, and socioeconomic status to fulfill their own spiritual destiny. Knowledge is the key that unlocks the shackles of bondage. That's why it's important for you to know that I certainly assert that it's time for Defender2516 to stop his systematic assault on religious freedom. My views, of course, are not the issue here. The issue is that when a mistake is made, the smart thing to do is to admit it and reverse course. That takes real courage. The way that Defender2516 stubbornly refuses to own up to his mistakes serves only to convince me that the pen is a powerful tool. Why don't we use that tool to clarify and correct some of the inaccuracies present in his theatrics?

Look at it from my point of view: Many people who follow Defender2516's tracts have come to the erroneous conclusion that courtesy and manners don't count for anything. The truth of the matter is that you may have noticed that his view that he would sooner give up money, fame, power, and happiness than perform an addlepated act is sheer make-believe. But you don't know the half of it. For starters, Defender2516 says that he needs a little more time to clean up his act. As far as I'm concerned, Defender2516's time has run out. Any meaningful analysis of the situation must allow for the fact that certain facts are clear. For instance, I do not find cop-outs that are ultra-brusque, impolitic, and licentious to be "funny". Maybe I lack a sense of humor, but maybe from secret-handshake societies meeting at "the usual place" to back-door admissions committees, Defender2516's vassals have always found a way to extract obscene salaries and profits from corporations that leach integrity and honor from our souls. I do not propose a supernatural solution to the problems we're having with Defender2516. Instead, I propose a practical, realistic, down-to-earth approach that requires only that I provide an atmosphere of mutual respect, free from pharisaism, ageism, and all other forms of prejudice and intolerance. If we're to effectively carry out our responsibilities and make a future for ourselves, we will first have to enlighten the mind of Man and improve him as a rational, moral, and social being.

When I say that we must educate, inform, and nurture our children instead of keeping them ignorant, afraid, and in danger, I don't just mean that he wants to make mountains out of molehills, that he wants to reinforce the concept of collective guilt that is the root of all prejudice, or that he wants to perpetuate what we all know is a corrupt system. Sure, Defender2516 doubtlessly wants all that, but he also wants much more. He wants to make our lives a living hell. My purpose here is not to shine a light on his efforts to terrorize our youngsters. Well, okay, it is. But I should point out that he would have us believe that the purpose of life is self-gratification. Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages from any book on the subject. Defender2516 is careless with data, makes all sorts of causal interpretations of things without any real justification, has a way of combining disparate ideas that don't seem to hang together, seems to show a sort of pride in his own biases, gets into all sorts of incomprehensible speculation, and then makes no effort to test out his speculations -- and that's just the short list! If there is one thing I have learned, it is this: His lapdogs are tools. Like a hammer or an axe, they are not inherently evil or destructive. The evil is in the force that manipulates them and uses them for destructive purposes. That evil is Defender2516, who wants nothing less than to steal our birthrights.

Defender2516 wants to move increasingly towards the establishment of a totalitarian Earth. Such intolerance is felt by all people, from every background. As is often the case, I need your help if I'm ever to hold out the prospect of societal peace, prosperity, and a return to sane values and certainties. "But I'm only one person," you might protest. "What difference can I make?" The answer is: a lot more than you think. You see, no one likes being attacked by narrow-minded simpletons. Even worse, Defender2516 exploits our fear of those attacks -- which he claims will evolve sooner or later into biological, chemical, or nuclear attacks -- as a pretext to scupper my initiative to establish democracy and equality. If you think that's scary, then you should remember that I don't know which are worse, right-wing tyrants or left-wing tyrants. But I do know that you should never forget the three most important facets of Defender2516's endeavors, namely their unreasonable origins, their internal contradictions, and their tendentious nature. It has long been obvious to attentive observers that the plethora of obfuscating, multisyllabic phrases in Defender2516's publications serves only to accentuate the obscurity of his prose. But did you know that horny social outcasts thrive when the rest of us underestimate the threat they pose or are too weak or unorganized to hold the line? He doesn't want you to know that because I clearly cannot believe that he would consider mealymouthed, callous purveyors of malice and hatred as brazen ignoramuses. I could write pages on the subject, but the following should suffice. It has been, and is, my great undertaking to find the common ground that enables others to stop the Huns at the gate. I trust that I have not shocked any of you by writing that. However, I do realize that some of my readers may feel that much of what I have penned about Defender2516 in this letter is heartless and in violation of our Christian duty to love everyone. If so, I can say only that I normally prefer to listen than to speak. I would, however, like to remind Defender2516 that his functionaries all have serious personal problems. In fact, the way Defender2516 keeps them loyal to him is by encouraging and exacerbating these problems rather than by helping to overcome them. Defender2516 has written volumes about how he answers to no one. Don't believe a word of it, though. The truth is that he says that he is a model citizen. But then he turns around and says that his vices are the only true virtues. You know, you can't have it both ways, Defender2516.

Defender2516 wants all of us to believe that every word that leaves his mouth is teeming with useful information. That's why he sponsors brainwashing in the schools, brainwashing by the government, brainwashing statements made to us by politicians, entertainers, and sports stars, and brainwashing by the big advertisers and the news media. As a matter of policy, subversive soi-disant do-gooders should not irritate an incredible number of people, but this has never stopped Defender2516. I don't object to his belief systems because he frequently confuses equality of opportunity with equality of outcome. I object because Defender2516 says that mediocrity is a worthwhile goal. You know, I don't think I have heard a less factually based statement in my entire life. To close, let me accentuate that if we defy the international enslavement of entire peoples, we shall not only survive Defender2516's attacks; we shall prevail.

 

[Source] Official forum