The Arts of Ranting

FLY HIGH OH SKY HIGH!!! *hums the Japanese part of the song*.........hehe

Ranting...What is ranting?

Ranting is the mean to speak or shout at length in a wild, emotional way. It can also be a noun. In blogs, a rant is a written personal complaint. 

Okay, that’s the definition of it. Now let’s talk about how to properly rant. Some people just start yapping blah, blah, blah, and blah....blah. One looks at them and they will be like: O.M.G! I less than 3 you! Others will be like: Get a Life Loser!! But that’s the fun thing about ranting, you see people either praising you or hating you. (Rawr)

Tips to make the perfect rant:

GRAMMAR

            Before you start complaining, you need to learn your grammar. You know those things you never paid attention to back in grade 2: The Spelling, Punctuations, Capitalizations, etc. If you don’t know how to spell, use periods, commas, spaces and paragraphs; and when to capitalize a letter than you shouldn’t be a ranting. Why? Because people can’t understand what you’re saying! Example: ifucanreadtisukool, people can’t read that right away, they need to look closer. Also capitalization…if you think making all your words big makes everyone read what your saying, then you should be proud yourself because people do read and they eventually wasted 5 minutes of their life. *applaud* Anyways, just make everything you write readable, maybe go take some English classes online, umm…go back to Grade School?

HUMOR

            Make your rants funny yet serious at the same time. If you want people to watch, read or listen to you, then you have to loosen them up (that’s what she said. Oooo) with a joke at the beginning, middle, end wherever. I prefer the beginning because it will just make the audience more open if they laughed before you start ranting about muffins being overpriced. You can lip-sync somewhere in the rant and make it emotional, dramatic and real. That’s pretty much it.

BE RANDOM (mandatory)

            Thinking while you’re ranting is a bad move. Everything that you do, say, think must be all natural to your audience or they will just see right through you. Talk about the most random things, rant about some guy you met because he started saying Go Go Power Rangers in your classroom. They have to stop making power ranger shows! There are way too many now! And Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will own those wanna be ninjas any day. Also TMNT don’t need giant ass robots to be beat the bad guys or shoot little laser guns at weird looking retarded aliens. Now back to the topic. ^^

Back Up Your Reasons

            Some rants are mostly personal experiences. When you’re ranting about games, MMOs or whatever, you would want to back it up with some research or maybe with your own experience. Add some examples because this will let others know your reasons. If you don’t then you will make a lousy rant, and then no one would read it and you just wasted your time writing it. So here is an example, “hot chicks dig me…why, because I’m hot. This is what I hate seeing, “holy crap! I hate this stupid game because it’s so stupid!! Stupid developers can’t make games! Or “Another fail WoW Clone” Like come on people, the world aren’t filled with retarded people…I hope. You people get what I’m saying here? If you do, continue on. If you don’t, go f**K yourself, j.k (just kidding).

 End With A Bang

            To end a rant is pretty important as this is saying good bye to your fans and you probably won't be writing in awhile unless you have no life or this is your job and getting money off of this. End your rant with a funny message, a funny TRUE message that will get the most of the people reading or watching laughing at it. An example is this. Let's say I was ranting about a game that I truly hate, my word of advice to you is. If you see someone holding this game in the game store, take it from them and put Lego Star Wars in their hands. Then hide the game in the back corner and leave. No one should buy that game! Its horrible, don't buy it.

--- Note to readers ---

This is truly my opinion on what would make a good rant, others will have their own opinions and I will respect that. Just don't make it so trollish. (if you don't know what that means, it means to act like a stupid craptard in public) okay I made that up but its close.

Good luck! PEACE!