A Love Letter to the Scene Kids of MMOSITE

Dear Probable Underage Scene Kids,

Today, I’m going to call you out. Yes, you. I’m going to put all of you who go from website to website, lie about your interests, then post a million pictures up, happy to get a horny fan base going online because that’s what gets you off. That’s what makes you feel special, and worthy, since obviously; you aren’t about shit in person. All of you spray painted, photo-shopped, underage, preteens who have no concept of where the words Frag, Pwned, and Blue Screen of Death even came from, or even mean. All of you picture posting, survey taking, hyped up little farts who invade website after website, standing half naked in front of a self-imposed, odd angled, camera shots, thinking you’re just hot shit. You’re lame, retarded, and not even cute.

Congratulations! You have the personality of soap bubbles, the intelligence of boiled rice, and the depth of puddle that couldn’t even drown an earthworm. Chatting with you makes me feel bad because it’s as if I’m trying to use sign language on a blind donkey. All of you that have 50 profile pictures and no blogs, where the extent of your ‘gaming’ has stopped at La Tale, and you spend your days in front of a web camera, proving to the world that you own pink shoes.

Stop cutting your hair at angles, flat ironing it, and dyeing it with Kool-Aid.  Stop using magic markers as eyeliner and calling it a fashion statement. Stop reminding me that Jem use to be a cartoon series in the late 80’s. You aren’t old enough to remember Rainbow Bright, I don’t care how many Hot Topic T-shirts you have bought, and I TRULY don’t care what color training bra you are wearing.

No, I don’t find you fun. You’re not fun to talk too. We have absolute nothing in common, and no, I don’t live with my mom because I’m smarter than you. Oh? Now you’re insulted. That’s fine. Put the hand up with the fake nails, rant and rage on me because I think you look like a cross between a hooker and a panda bear. That’s cool. I have a job to get too anyways. Just don’t stand behind me as I back up the car. I will run you over and not feel bad about it.

Much Love,

Lushy

PS: Heavy eye make-up is a leading cause for eye infection. The more you know.