***Ok although the title of this might not really fit into the whole theme of the blog post here, but its really the only title I could think of. ***
Over the whole weekend, as well as today I did alot of thinking, sadly it tends to always be negitive. Seeing I am never really happy ( don't even remember when the last time I accualy was ) the best days I have are just a 50 50 feeling where your not upset or sad but your not happy or full of joy. Personaly things in life are just the way they are, some things I have control over some I have no control it's just upsetting when the things you have no control over hurts you more than anything thats changeable. So with this I will not say this might be my last blog post for a while or ever becasue I am 100% sure after this I won't be posting anymore blog posts on here. How this will go is I will leave my account on the site here for about a month then after than I plan to see about deleteing my account on this site, if I can't or its not an option then it will just sit here and be a waste of space. Before though I do have something I want to post about and I will do this below.
I am not very smart or bright in way things work in the world, not very bright or smart in history, can never seem to remeber or keep things memorised anymore. But I do know a few things and what I tend to see, and its sad to say we have learned nothing from the past. Racism, sexists, hate, making people feel like outcasts, ect. all this all thats happened in the past and whats most the world doing today, the same crap. Truth is all humanity everyone hasn't learned anything from mess ups, things go smooth a while after bad things happen then mistakes are just repeated over again. It's honesly depressing to see how the world works, and now adays for anyone who accualy cares about anyone around them and not just about themselfs know the feel of depression and hurt that can be felt to think how there is all this going on.
I was gonna write out something about how I personaly feel and why I see things this way but I feel there is no point. So have a good one everyone and to alot of people you can be happy now the retarted person is not posting anymore.
Maybe one day I will see things differnently and maybe be more possitive like I used to be a long long long time ago, but it all looks hopeless and I just have a feeling I will be living the rest of my life misserable, and its really just taking everything outta me. Games are no longer any fun for me, and its not just becasue its all a grind either. So have a good one everyone I will be around just probly only gonna keep up with e-mail though and probly about it.